Resilience in a Seashell

 I am staying a few days at Portsmouth Abbey Monastery. My last few years have been extremely difficult. Emotionally and mentally I have been put through the wringer, so I am using part of my April break to take time for me, and be in a place of calm and quiet, so I can reflect and just be with myself. 

This morning I was on a walk of the grounds, and found this shell in the grass. In my mind, I knew there had to be something to it, so I went to the magical oracle known as Google, and looked up the meaning of finding a seashell. 

According to Google:

Seashells are not only beautiful treasures of the sea, but they also hold deep spiritual significance. They serve as powerful symbols of protection, resilience, and the interconnectedness of all living things.

I want to focus on the second word - resilience. The Oxford dictionary defines is as:

re·sil·ience

/rəˈzilēəns/

noun

1. 1.

   the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

   "the remarkable resilience of so many institutions"
2. 2.

   the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.

   "nylon is excellent in wearability and resilience"

I have not felt very resilient for a while. I have felt lost in a sea of emotions, anger and sadness. I have no idea how I have kept moving forward to be honest. I am not going to go into detail at this time about why or how my life has spiraled so badly. I just want to feel better, and I want to feel better now!

This is part of the reason I came to the monastery, to begin that journey to being better. The outside world is ready to give me all kinds of advice, and I don't want it. I want to find my own way through this, and I am taking that step. I have important decisions to make, and I have little time to make them. I don't want to rush and make a big mistake, so I am trying to get through this period with a minimum of noise. 

The shell in the picture above clearly  had a lot of fight in him to somehow get to a field of grass, near a gazebo, overlooking Naragansett Bay in Rhode Island. Now I've found him, and he has a home with me. His new life of being a symbol of who I need to be. I need to be resilient like the seashell.